Do you feel overwhelmed with the amount of ‘stuff’ you have to do? Do you feel scared that if you were to stop, your whole world would collapse around you?
We live in a fast-paced world; one in which we feel we have to keep up for fear of drowning in a pool of debt. One in which we feel we have to keep up with everyone else for fear of being seen as lesser-than. For fear of not fitting in. For fear of failing. For fear of not being ‘good enough’. The sad irony in all of this is that if we felt we were good enough in the first place, then we wouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone; we would know that whatever we chose to do in life, however we wanted to live it would be enough – even if it meant not doing things in the traditional way. Even if it meant dropping some of our ‘duties’ and obligations now and again.
I help professional women to lead happy, balanced and fulfilled lives so they can model healthy ways of living to future generations. I absolutely love my work and feel honoured to be able to serve in this way. However, the hardest learning for me has been to put myself and my self-care at the forefront of my life – as far as is possible. Surely, this is selfish! I know, I feel like that sometimes too. But if I don’t look after myself, I can’t be fully present for my clients.
Does that mean that we all need to put ourselves first all the time over and above everyone else? Absolutely not! That would be reckless and irresponsible, and if you have children, this is an impossibility anyway.
However, does putting ourselves first mean setting healthy boundaries? Absolutely yes. Does it mean learning to trust our instincts so that we don’t burn out? Again, yes. Does it mean being able to say no assertively when others demand of us? Oh yes.
And how do we get to a place where we can do all that? By going inside to do the inner work which means a desire for change, a desire to change.
The thing with Change
The tendency is that when we start to change, we may feel a resistance, a pulling away from an uncomfortable stretch out of our comfort zones. We may have decided that change right now is not possible – we have to wait for this or that to happen before even thinking about change. But it doesn’t have to be that way; it can work differently – if you choose for that to be the case. First of all – Rome wasn’t built in a day; there’s much to be said about taking each day at a time and making plans in ways which don’t feel rushed.
There have been times in my life where my beliefs and way of being have been challenged. It is during these times where I have felt paralysed and not trusted my instincts. It is at these times when I have stepped backwards to take stock of my life, that I have been able to move forwards again with clarity and purpose.
So, in the spirit of stepping back I recently engaged in some Mindfulness sessions with my Osteopath. I know that healing comes from the inside first and that to do that, I had to slow right down. Sometimes this process is helped by someone else facilitating. As a result of the sessions I was able to get to grips with a personal issue that had been plaguing me for many years and I came to some realisations that meant I could lay some self-blame to rest and release some guilt that had been weighing me down.
A client’s story
Clients sometimes tell me that they don’t have time to do any inner work and that they’d prefer to just work towards goals. However, what can happen is that they get stuck and can’t seem to move on with their goals; they begin to realise that maybe they do need to look at some underlying issues that they’ve been unable to look at or have been ignoring for perhaps many, years.
We are complex beings who are very clever at pushing down our feelings at the expense of what is right for us. We are very good at avoiding the hard work of digging deep to make important emotional shifts that then help us to move on more confidently.
I had a client who I’ll call Sheila, who was convinced that her childhood had nothing to do with her life now. She believed that ‘you just have to get on with it, don’t you?’ This is what she’d been brought up to believe; feelings and emotions were to be ignored and pushed down because they got in the way of ‘real life’. However, in the sessions she was able to contact these feelings and she was able to work through her embarrassment of crying in front of someone and showing emotions. She was finally being witnessed in her vulnerability and importantly, totally accepted for it.
Slowly but surely, she was able to begin contacting that part of her that had been suppressed all these years. She learnt that her feelings had value and that ultimately, she too, had value – that she mattered. From these realisations she was then more able to make decisions that felt right for her and she began to feel a sense of control that she’d never felt before. Her goals from then on reflected her new sense of self-worth and her life began to change in ways she never imagined. She was able to stand up for herself at home and decided that she would no longer stay in a job that no longer served her and that she would instead focus on finding more suitable work. Other changes took place as a result of her beginning to put herself first and she now enjoys a much more fulfilling life.
Are you ready for change?
Stepping back isn’t a passive process, it’s one that demands that we be honest with ourselves, that we be brave enough to really look at ourselves, that we visit our dark spaces and that we have faith that there is indeed a better, more positive future waiting to emerge – if we let it.
So, if any of this is calling to a part of you which is yearning for change, then you’re ready to step onto your new path. Come and join me in a one-day retreat where you can step back, recharge and go back to your life with renewed energy and vision.
Book yourself in for a powerful conversation, using this link. We will explore the changes you’d like to make and I will share with you how you can start creating your new path.
These sessions are a chance to talk with me personally, so if you’re ready to take the plunge, then click here and let’s get talking!
Can’t wait to connect with you!
I would love to get to know you more, connect with me here.