Daring to be seen

On my Birthday this year, I had the mixed experience of doing a stall and running a workshop at the BestYou Expo at the Olympia, in Kensington. I remember making the decision to really step out and be seen. It was a friend that said she saw something in me and that I should have more faith in myself.

Su Orosa at the Best of You Expo 2018

Sometimes it just takes one comment like that to spur one into action! When I came across some information about the Expo event, and after some research, I decided that I would set up my own stall and do a speaking slot. It was whilst on holiday in Portugal that I finally committed to doing taking part in the Expo and so I rang from the hotel room and booked my slots for a small fortune.

 

I committed to stepping out and being seen. I committed to stretching myself. I committed to believing in myself more. Despite this, I still met my internal gremlins and my resistance but decided not to pay too much attention to the gremlins for fear that I would sabotage myself. As it happens, they did make an appearance in a timely fashion just before running my workshop. It seemed to help that I was able to voice them to a complete stranger who was rehearsing his talk. He happened to be a coach and I was able to give voice to that part of me that thought I wasn’t good enough to do this; that I would somehow fluff it up and not deliver. I discovered that ironically, voicing my fears helped me to rid myself of my anxiety. Perhaps this is just a familiar ‘script’ that needed to be acknowledged before retreating back into that part of the brain. And perhaps just being listened to non-judgmentally helped too.

 

One of the things that stand out for me the most from the two days is the fact that three close friends of mine offered to come and help out; I didn’t ask them to, they just offered. There was one point on the first day that I was overcome with emotion. Perhaps it was the relief of having completed my talk successfully followed by participating in a frantic Speed Coaching activity – I don’t know. But I do know that I was exhausted; all the adrenaline and anxiety from the build-up and planning of the event plus a bad lower back-pain problem – oh and did I mention the hot flushes – all reached a peak and I found myself in tears of gratitude whilst one of my friends did an EFT session for me. I was overcome with the emotion of knowing that friends loved me enough to spend one or two days with me in London and I felt a deep gratitude that cut through to my core.

Su Orosa's stand at the Expo

The actual talk was quite an experience: I managed to let go of my notes as it turned out that I didn’t actually need them. It turned out that I can recall more than I thought I could. It turned out that I can speak fairly confidently to a group of complete strangers. It turned out that I now have the bug and can’t wait for my next speaking assignment! I will be writing another blog about how when I’m nervous I can find it hard to find the right words and sentence structure when speaking publicly. Although I was nervous and I didn’t get through everything I wanted to talk about, somehow I stepped up to the plate. Maybe it was the fact that this was my only chance to get it right. I didn’t have the option of doing a few ‘takes’ on film beforehand. But I surprised myself, made a few contacts as a result and feel proud that I lent into my discomfort and did it anyway.

 

So what will you be stepping into this month or this year? What will your big scary leap into the unknown be? What are you willing to do that will involve you daring to step into your vulnerability. Leave your comments below and come and join similar conversations in my Facebook Group the Personal Growth Hub .

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